Apostrophes DON’T form plurals!

Perhaps the most common of all mistakes made with plurals is the use of the apostrophe. Apostrophes have two clear uses in English grammar: to form an abbreviation, or to demonstrate ownership. Neither of these is concerned with plurals, so you should never use an apostrophe to suggest that there is more than one of something! The mistake clearly arises from the fact that the letter ‘s’ always follows the apostrophe when it is being used show that something belongs to somebody.

For example: That is Sarah’s sandwich.

It is therefore easy to see why many writers mistakenly connect this concept to the use of the letter ‘s’ to show that a word is plural, as demonstrated by this cake manufacturer. However, this is a misconception, so remember: think plural, think NO APOSTROPHE!!

Plurals are for Nouns, not Adjectives

When we are talking about more than one of something, that thing is usually a noun. Nouns are the names of things, for example table, tree, or person. Adjectives are the words we use to describe things, such as happy, brown or bouncy.

When we are describing more than one thing, it is important to remember that the letter ‘s’ we use to denote the plural is only attached to the noun, not to the adjective, as in this restaurant menu. Adjectives never take the letter ‘s’ to indicate that they are attached to a plural noun.

For example: green trees, NOT greens trees

Making Plurals from Words Ending in ‘y’

Words that end in ‘y’ cause particular problems when it comes to plurals, because some should end ‘ys’, whereas others change to ‘ies’. Many writers struggle with this concept, causing a plethora of spelling mistakes (as thoroughly demonstrated by this party organiser’s advert) but in fact there is a clear grammar rule you can use to get it right every time.

TOP GRAMMAR TIP: To make a plural from a word that ends in ‘y’, simply look at the letter immediately before the ‘y’. If it is a vowel, the word stays the same and you simply add the letter ‘s’ at the end.

For example: monkey becomes monkeys, boy becomes boys, play becomes plays.

On the other hand, if the letter before the ‘y’ is a consonant, you must remove the ‘y’ from the end of the word and then add the ending ‘ies’.

For example: fairy becomes fairies, try becomes tries, daisy becomes daisies.

My and Our

Another common mistake involving plurals is mixing up the possessive adjectives we use to say that something belongs to someone.

Remember, these possessive adjectives are singular: my, his, her, its

And these are plural: our, their, theirs

Finally, don’t make the same mistake as this over-zealous car owner, who failed to use a possessive adjective at all!

Just remember these simple rules to get your plural spellings right every time!

Capital Letters Start Sentences

The first rule every child learns about capital letters is that you need one at the start of every sentence. The only rare exception to this rule is in rather pretentious modern poetry where the writer starts each line or sentence with a lower case letter in an attempt to make a point about the constrictions of rules! (And even then it is technically grammatically incorrect!) So remember that you must always use a capital letter to begin every sentence.

That is, a capital letter should always follow a full stop, exclamation mark or question mark – don’t make the mistake of putting them at the beginning of a new clause, after a comma. Unfortunately this one simple rule was apparently too much for the makers of this safari park sign (and that doesn’t seem to be their only problem with English grammar either!)

Capital Letters for Proper Nouns

The other main use of capital letters in English grammar is for proper nouns. These are things which have names – people, places, months, days of the week etc.

TOP GRAMMAR TIP: A good way to remember which words are proper nouns is to think that they are things that are unique; there is only one of them.

For example: Taunton, Diane, Saturn.

So the writer of this news article could have avoided his capital letter mistake by asking himself whether the word ‘geisha’ was a name, or reminding himself that there are many of them, so it is not a unique description.

Capitalisation in Titles

When writing titles, the rules governing capital letters tend to become a little blurry. It is generally accepted when writing a title that important words may start with a capital letter for emphasis (as in the title of this article) at the writer’s discretion. Some writers like to capitalise the first letter of every word in a title, which is also grammatically acceptable.

However, it is not grammatically correct to use this technique within an ordinary sentence, as the writer of this advert has done. It can only be used in titles. This is a common mistake in advertising copy.

Capitalisation for Emphasis

The other grey area when it comes to capitalisation is the use of block capitals for emphasis. Usually this should be grammatically discouraged now that we have the accepted conventions of bold and italic type to use for emphasis. However, it is occasionally grammatically acceptable to use block capitals in handwritten text or even in print, to show emphasis.

For example: “HARRY!” His mother bellowed, “Get down here NOW!”

In these cases, the block capitals should only be used for one or two words at a time. Unfortunately the writers of signs and advertisements have adopted the technique of block capitals to try to create emphasis and often use them for whole paragraphs of text, as shown in this library sign. This is the text equivalent of shouting at somebody at the top of your voice, and is not grammatically correct.

TOP EDITING TIP: It should also be remembered that block capitals are not easy to read, as we are used to reading lower case; another reason why it is not advisable to use them for large chunks of text.

Using the Wrong Word

One of the most common mistakes missed by proofreaders is the substitution of one word for another, as in this event poster, where the word ‘word’ has been used instead of ‘world’. This kind of mistake is, of course, caused by a simple slip of the fingers whilst typing, but it can be tricky to pick up because our eyes read the word as a legitimate spelling and therefore don’t immediately recognise it as a mistake.

There are two problems with picking out these kinds of errors – one is that modern automatic spelling and grammar checks, which we have come to rely on so much, don’t necessarily pick them up because they are not misspelled. The second is that our human brain is so quick and clever that it actually has a similar ‘auto-correct’ function of its own! It is very common for people to read a sentence like this one, for example, without ever realising the mistake, because their brain corrects it for them automatically:

The very best way to avoid these mistakes when you are proofreading is to read the text through thoroughly not once but twice. The first time, don’t read it for sense, but look carefully at each individual word to be absolutely certain that you have picked up any repetitions or spelling errors. You can also check punctuation and structure on this reading. The second reading is to check the sense and grammar of the piece – you will notice that when you are reading for sense, you pay much less attention to the individual words used, so it is very important to carry out these two, separate checks.

Rush or Passion!

It might sound simple, but another extremely common mistake made by writers when proofreading their own work is to both write the piece and check it in a great rush, or in a flood of passion. Whether it is scribbling out an indignant letter, writing an impassioned poem or penning an angry sign of protest, writing created in a fit of emotion can be some of the best. Proofreading in a rush of emotion, however, is not particularly successful. So, to avoid the embarrassment of these protesters with their hastily written, unchecked signs, try to leave yourself a few hours to cool off before checking through any writing that you have done in a big rush. You might find mistakes you couldn’t possibly have noticed in your previous hot-headed mood!

Printing

‘Printing’ is the word we use for writing one letter at a time, instead of joined up writing. This is often used for big signs or billboards and it can lead to real proofreading problems. Joined up writing not only makes our writing neater, it also teaches our hand and brain a physical memory of how the word should be spelled. So when we print words letter by letter, we make far more spelling mistakes than we normally would. Very often, this involves simply putting two adjacent letters the wrong way round, as in this church billboard. The best way to avoid these mistakes is to proofread each word individually, rather than just taking in the sign as a whole, because they can be such small slips that writers don’t always notice them when they are checking through.

Magic ‘E’

Magic ‘E’ is perhaps the simplest and most important of all the spelling rules that deal with vowel-consonant combinations. When the letter ‘e’ is added to a syllable ending in a single consonant at the end of a word, it completely changes the sound of that syllable by lengthening and softening the preceding vowel sound.

On its own, you hear the sharp, emphasised sound of the consonant at the end of the word.

For example: tap, hat, mat, and cap.

However, once you add the ‘e’ to the end, the sound of the consonant is softened and the vowel sound before it is emphasised instead.

For example: tape, hate, mate and cape.

Use this phonetic guide to help you work out the correct spelling of the word you are trying to write (as this restaurant owner should have used it to sound out the correct spelling of the phrase non-customers).

‘ar’ and ‘or’

‘Ar’ is another very important vowel-consonant combination to learn, because it makes a dramatic difference in the phonetic sound of a word. Alone, the ‘a’ makes a short, sharp, emphasised sound.

For example: cat, hat, hap and back.

But when the ‘r’ is added, the sound of the ‘a’ is lengthened and softened.

For example: cart, hart, harp and arch.

Remember this simple phonetic guide to help you insert the ‘r’ wherever it is needed to soften the ‘a’ vowel sound (unlike this unfortunate road sign painter!)

The same effect is true when the ‘r’ is combined with the letter ‘o’.

Note the difference, for example, between the vowel sounds in the words ‘pot’ and ‘port’.

The maker of this sign should have considered the phonetic sound of the word ‘opportunities’ when trying to work out how to spell it!

Misplaced vowels

Remember, vowels are like the oil that allows consonants to move freely next to one another and gives them the space to be pronounced distinctly from one another. Sometimes, two consonants can work happily back-to-back to provide a new sound, such as when the letter ‘s’ is added to the end of a word, or in the combinations ‘br’, ‘pr’, ‘ck’, ‘mn’ etc.

However, there are also some occasions when it is clear that two consonants are not supposed to sit next to one another without a vowel in between, as this unfortunate milk advert demonstrates. (Making the advert on the opposite page look pretty ironic!)

So remember that vowel-consonant combinations are often essential to proper spelling and keep your eyes peeled for consonant combinations that don’t look pronounceable!

There is no hard and fast rule to learn all the different variations of vowel-consonant combinations, but the best advice is to read as much as you possibly can, as this will help you to become instinctively aware of the different sounds various letter combinations make.

Some common examples are: Paws, pause, son, sun, need, knead, blew, blue, hair, hare, flower, flour, week, weak, bear, bare, dear, deer, rode, road, bee, be, might, mite, write, right, ate and eight.

Occasionally the task of remembering to tell these similar sounding words apart is made even more difficult when they come in groups of three, all sounding exactly the same but all three with different spellings!

For example: Pare, pair, pear, to, too, two, for, fore and four.

We’ve picked out some of the most commonly confused heterographs (along with some hilarious real-life examples of writers getting them mixed up) to help you learn the simple rules to spell them correctly every time.

Here and hear

The reason these two identical-sounding words are such a problem for writers is simply that they are both so commonly used. It is easy to remember a pair of words like ‘witch’ and ‘which’, because one is much more commonly used, but when both words arise frequently it can be much harder to tell them apart.

Just remember, ‘here’ refers to place.

For example: “Come here,” or “I’ll wait for you over here.”

‘Hear,’ on the other hand, refers to the use of the ears to experience the sensation of sound.

For example: “I can’t hear you.”

Remember, ‘hear’ can also be used more figuratively, in expressions like ‘did you hear the news?’

TOP GRAMMAR TIP: An easy way to remember how to spell these words is that the word ‘hear’ actually contains within it the word ‘ear’ within it, reminding you that it has to do with sound!

Bear and bare

Bear and bare present a different problem, because in addition to their two separate meanings, the word ‘bear’ itself also has two different meanings of its own. Words like this, which are spelled the same and sound the same but have different meanings, are called homonyms.

Remember, ‘bear’ means either the actual animal itself or to cope or deal with something. For example: Is that a bear over there? This tension is more than I can bear!

‘Bare’ is a more gentle way of saying nude, or stripped, but it can also refer to more figurative concepts than just nudity.

For example: What bare-faced cheek! Or, the cupboard was completely bare.

Toad and towed

These two are easier to tell apart because of the different vowels and the ‘w’ in ‘towed’, but that doesn’t stop writers from frequently mixing them up!

Toad refers only to the amphibian animal, though it is also often used as a metaphor or simile.

For example: The toad sat on the lily pad, or, the King squatted on his throne like an obscene toad.

Towed may be used as the past tense or participle of the verb ‘to tow’.

For example: The broken-down car was towed away, or, he towed his skateboard laboriously behind him.

TOP GRAMMAR TIP: Remember not to mistake words with similar sounds but different spellings for homophones or heterographs. Here are some common word pairs that are often mixed up but actually have their own completely unique spellings and meanings:

Affect, effect, accept, except

Place prepositions are the small words we use in English grammar to describe where one object is in relation to another. The most commonly used prepositions of place are: in, on, at, above, below, under, beneath, over, behind, between, into, through, across, beside and around. Whilst these words might seem grammatically harmless enough (after all, they are mostly easy to spell correctly) they cause a surprising amount of mistakes in English writing. This is usually because of confusion about which place preposition to use in which situation, as the following funny grammar examples show.

On

As a place preposition, on often means literally on top of an object.

For example: The cat is on the mat, or, the plate is on the table.

However, it can also be used temporally, to suggest that something happens on a certain day or date.

For example: I was born on November 3rd, or, I went to the library on Monday. The main problems that arise from the use of this particular preposition tend to happen when people take it too literally to mean ‘on top of’. They sometimes forget that it also has uses like ‘on the bus’, or ‘on the third floor’, as this unfortunate sign shows!

In

The place preposition ‘in’ is very similar in usage to ‘on’ and it therefore also tends to cause very similar grammatical problems. When it is literally used to describe being inside something, writers find it relatively easy to use.

For example: The water is in the vase, or, the biscuits are in the tin.

However, like on, this place preposition can be used for more general ideas of being ‘inside’ or included in something.

For example: I am in the netball team, or, I was in Germany last week.

This is where the writer of this smoking sign has gone wrong, by not realising that ‘in’ may be used in this wider context.

Above and Below

On the surface, these two prepositions are relatively simple – one means higher than something else, and the other means lower.

For example: The roof is above the doorway, or, the basement is below the living room.

However, because of the way in which we talk about space and area, people can easily become confused about how to use them correctly. We will sometimes refer, for example, to an area that is nearer to us as ‘below’ the area further away, as perspective means that when we look at a picture, we see nearer objects lower down in the frame than those which are more distant. However it is usually grammatically incorrect to refer to space in this way, because it can become confusing, as this car park sign demonstrates!

Like the other place prepositions, above and below can also be used more figuratively.

For example: I came above Matthew in the maths test, or, I’m feeling a bit below par today.

The second part of our Funny Grammar Guide blog on punctuation is largely concerned with apostrophes and the many different ways in which writers use them to make mistakes! The uses of the apostrophe in English grammar are really quite simple and clear-cut, so let us clear things up for you with these simple rules…

Apostrophes ARE for Abbreviation

The first use of the apostrophe in English grammar is to indicate abbreviation. This means that when we combine two words into one shorter word, or simply turn a longer word into a shorter version, we use an apostrophe to show where the missing letters have been removed from.

For example: in the word ‘doesn’t’, the apostrophe shows where the missing ‘o’ would go.

One common example of the use of the apostrophe for abbreviation is in the word ‘you’re’, meaning ‘you are’. Unfortunately this tattoo enthusiast has not only omitted the apostrophe, but also misspelled the word, with lasting consequences!

Apostrophes can also be used when writing abbreviated speech, to show where a particular dialect or accent causes the speaker to miss out parts of words, or sandwich two words together. Again, the apostrophe shows where the missing part of the word should go.

For example: “Come over ‘ere”, shouted the policeman.

When apostrophes are used in this way they help a reader to hear the phonetic sound the speaker makes but at the same time to understand where the words have been altered, which makes comprehension easier.

As you can see from this promotional McDonald’s cup, advertisers often use apostrophes in this way to suggest ‘cool’ abbreviated speech. Grammatically however, an apostrophe is required to show where each omission of letters has taken place, so the company is inadvertently implying that their drinks are either ‘good in cold’, ‘good an cold’, or ‘good on cold’!

Apostrophes ARE for Ownership

The other use of apostrophes in English grammar is to show ownership. We use an apostrophe after the name of the owner, followed by the letter ‘s’, to indicate that something belongs to them.

For example: that is Sophie’s hammer. I think she bought it from George’s shop.

So hapless Harry has managed to use an apostrophe correctly to indicate that he is the owner of his shop, but sadly became rather over-zealous in liberally sprinkling the same punctuation mark throughout the rest of his sign with less grammatical success!

Apostrophes ARE NOT for Plurals!!

Time and time again, writers make the mistake of adding an apostrophe before the s at the end of a plural word. This is NEVER GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT! Just don’t do it!
This is one of the most common punctuation errors in the English language, as these many examples show!

Commas

Commas are among the simplest punctuation marks, but because they can be used in several different ways, they still cause confusion for many writers. The first and simplest use of a comma is to separate different clauses or parts of a sentence. By far the easiest way to work out where a comma should go is to read the sentence aloud. Wherever you would naturally pause while reading, you should insert a comma in the sentence. This is because when we read a sentence aloud, we naturally use pauses to imply where there is a separation between different ideas.

The famous example of this is in the difference between these two sentences:

“Let’s eat, Grandpa”. And: “let’s eat Grandpa!”

So this grocery store owner has been rather over-zealous with the use of commas in the freezer aisle, as the words ‘ice’ and ‘cold’ are intended to be connected and therefore should not be separated by a comma.

Commas are also used to separate items in a list.

For example: I bought bread, eggs, milk, honey and tea.

TOP GRAMMAR TIPRemember that when using commas in this way, it is not necessary to include a comma before the word ‘and’.

Finally, don’t make the same mistake as this toy shop owner – never use commas for abbreviations; you need an apostrophe for that!

Speech Marks

Speech marks (also sometimes called inverted commas) are most frequently used, as their name suggests, to show that somebody is speaking.

For example: “Children,” called the teacher, “come back inside now.”

However there has recently been a trend for using inverted commas to imply irony or scepticism. (You may even have noticed people sketching speech marks in the air with their fingers whilst talking to imply that they are not convinced by a particular idea or phrase.)

When used in this way, the inverted commas suggest that whilst something has been claimed, or named by somebody else, the person speaking does not entirely believe the claim.

For example: My daughter did not go to school today. She claimed her “blinding headache” meant she couldn’t possibly concentrate on her maths test.

Or: Supernatural fanatics have pointed to the “clear evidence” that there was a full moon last week as proof of werewolf activity.

Unfortunately however, this relatively new use of the punctuation mark is frequently misinterpreted as a means of emphasis, leading to many embarrassing punctuation mistakes, as this unfortunate birthday cake shows. The children in question, whilst trying affectionately to celebrate their father’s birthday, have accidentally suggested that they have doubts about their true paternity!

So remember – speech marks should be used for speech, NOT for emphasis!

Silent Vowels

Silent vowels are, unsurprisingly, commonly missed out by writers because we often use the phonetic sounds of words to help us work out how they should be spelled. However, the crucial thing to remember about vowels is that they often influence the sounds of other letters even if they are not sounded out themselves. ‘Magic e’ is a great example of this concept – the addition of the letter ‘e’ at the end of a short word often changes the pronunciation of the whole word by elongating and softening the earlier vowel sound, even though the ‘e’ itself is not actually pronounced.

For example: bit becomes bite, fat becomes fate, not becomes note, jut becomes jute.

Elsewhere, silent vowels also influence the sounds of words, such as in the word ‘business’, where the ‘u’ in the first syllable of the word is changed to an ‘i’ sound by the insertion of the second, silent ‘i’. So it is important to remember to include it, unlike this unfortunate shop keeper.

Pluralising Words Ending in ‘y’

These tricky endings cause a huge number of spelling mistakes because there are two possible endings for plurals of words where the singular ends in ‘y’. These two possible endings are ‘ys’ and ‘ies’. Once again, vowels are very important in solving this spelling conundrum and luckily there is a simple rule you can remember to get it right every time.

GRAMMAR RULE: When pluralising a word that ends in ‘y’, check whether the letter directly before the ‘y’ is a vowel or a consonant. If it is a vowel, just add the letter ‘s’ to the end of the word. If the penultimate letter is a consonant, you must remove the ‘y’ and add the ending ‘ies’.

For example: Boy becomes boys, monkey becomes monkeys, but baby becomes babies and university becomes universities.

Whatever you do, don’t make the mistake of omitting the vowel at the end of the word altogether, like this embarrassing imitation mug. If you want to convince somebody you went to Harvard, it’s probably best to start by spelling it correctly!

Words ending in ‘o’

Words ending in ‘o’ have two different plural forms – some simply take the letter ‘s’, but others require an extra ‘e’ in addition. Unfortunately there is no hard and fast rule for which words take which ending, so it is important to learn the most common culprits to avoid spelling errors.

Some of the most important examples to remember are: tomatoes, heroes, echoes, studios, photos, videos.

Just remember – the extra ‘e’ is only added in the case of the plural, not, as many writers (like this café owner) mistakenly believe, in the singular form as well.

Word Order

One major writing mistake that can only be picked up by careful proofreading is incorrect word order. It is possible to write a sentence that is technically grammatically correct, but does not reflect the meaning you intended because of the word order. Changing the syntax (or word order) of a sentence can completely change its meaning, as this unfortunate market sign shows.

A helpful rule of thumb for syntax is to remember that most English sentences conform to the subject, verb, object sentence structure.

For example: The girl kicked the dog.

When we change this order to place the object at the beginning of the sentence, we say the syntax has been ‘inverted’.

For example: The dog was kicked by the girl.

The important thing to remember to avoid making mistakes this one is that if you have a phrase that modifies part of your sentence, you need to keep those two parts together.

For example: “Pay close attention throughout the night to hear the rare birds singing”, is different in meaning from: “Pay close attention to hear the rare birds singing throughout the night.”

Prefixes and Suffixes

Prefixes and suffixes are small modifiers added to the beginning or end of a word to change its meaning. You will usually recognise them and know immediately what impact they will have on the word, as they have a clear function and are used in many common words.

For example: anti- (against/opposite) semi- (half/partly) –phobic (afraid of)

We can use these to change the meaning of a word completely.

For example: freeze and anti-freeze, colon and semicolon, sphere and hemisphere etc.

However, it is important to be familiar with the function of prefixes and suffixes and only to use them where they are appropriate. The maker of this sign has assumed that the prefix ‘in’ means opposite, or negates the word, as in examples like ‘inadmissible’ or ‘inaccessible’. So he has tried to use it to imply poor visibility, or a lack of visibility. Yet the word ‘invisible’ already exists, and has a different meaning altogether, so his sign should have read “Be Aware of Poor Visibility”.

Using the Wrong Word

Another common problem that may lead to embarrassment is the accidental use of the wrong word in written text. Because these words, if spelled correctly, may not be picked up by an automatic spelling and grammar check, it is vital to proofread important pieces of writing before they are sent to the printers.

This often occurs with long, complex words that writers are not used to using, as this unfortunate door sign demonstrates! So make sure you get a fresh pair of eyes to look over your work, as it can be difficult to spot this kind of mistake in your own writing.