There is a common misconception that changing the ending of a word makes only a very small difference to the meaning of that word. This idea stems from languages like French, where just adding the letter ‘e’ to the end of a word makes it feminine, or indeed from the common use of the letter ‘s’ at the end of many English words to make them plural. However, it is frequently the case that changing the ending of a word will actually completely transform the meaning of that word, so carelessness with word endings leads to a great number of significant (and funny) mistakes in English grammar. Look at these common examples…

Adding ‘d’ to the end of a word

It is true that we often add the letter ‘d’ to the end of a verb that ends in ‘e’ in English to turn it into an adjective. For example, we would add it to the end of the verb ‘love’ if we wanted to describe somebody who was ‘loved’.

We also often add ‘d’ to the end of verbs ending in ‘e’ to change them into the past tense.

For example: hope becomes hoped, hire becomes hired, and pore becomes pored.

However, there are many, many verbs that do not conform to this rule.

For example: bite becomes bit, take becomes took.

The process of using the letter ‘d’ to form an adjective is similarly complicated, with many exceptions to the rule, as this unfortunate sign shows. So DON’T make the mistake of thinking that there is a simple one-size-fits-all word ending you can add to all words to create the same effect – this is almost never true in ANY language! Instead you have to learn individual endings for different words – and remember that word ending rules are only ever guidelines.

Sometimes the process for changing a word will be similar to the general rule, but have a slight difference – a good example is the practice of adding ‘ed’ to the ends of verbs ending in consonants to change them into adjectives.

For example: chill becomes chilled, thrill becomes thrilled.

Even this is complicated however, as when the original word ends in a single, rather than a double letter, it often has to be doubled before the ‘ed’ is added.

For example: stop becomes stopped, tap becomes tapped, pit becomes pitted.

Learning these variations to the rule is essential in order to avoid making spelling mistakes like the one that has led this off-licence to have a very misleading sign outside!

Don’t Just Add ‘s’ for Plurals

You should never make assumptions about simply sticking a generic ending on a word to achieve the effect you want. Many writers make the mistake of thinking that just adding the letter ‘s’ to the end of any word will turn it into a plural. However, this is not always the case. In the case of words ending with the letter ‘y’, for example, the ending often needs to be changed to ‘ies’ in order to pluralise the word.

Another common mistake, which this sign perfectly demonstrates, is accidentally putting the ‘s’ on the wrong word! It should always be placed on the end of the noun itself, not on the end of the adjective, as has been done here to hilarious comic effect!

There are many sets of similar words that are commonly mixed up in English grammar. Whether they are spelled very similarly or simply sound alike, it is extremely common for writers to accidentally use the wrong word in the wrong context. However, some of these mistakes are more disastrous than others – depending on the context, the type of writing and the word itself. Here are some of the most important commonly confused word pairs you should really try to avoid mixing up!

Aloud and Allowed

As this sign demonstrates, the word ‘allowed’ is a particularly important one to spell correctly, as it is frequently used in signs giving vital instructions. Unfortunately it sounds exactly the same as the word ‘aloud’, which has a very different meaning and a very different spelling too!

Remember: allowed means permitted.

For example: Smoking is not allowed.

But aloud means ‘out loud’.

For example: I read the words aloud.

Toad and Towed

For similar reasons, it is important to get this cheeky little word pair the right way round! The word ‘towed’ is often used on important traffic and parking signs, as this example demonstrates, so it is impossible to underestimate the importance of making sure that it is spelled correctly and not confused with its animal counterpart!

Towed means pulled along behind.

For example: The caravan was towed behind the car.

It is also used to describe the penalty whereby cars parked in the wrong place are taken away and impounded. (As this sign intends to threaten!)

A toad is a small amphibian similar to a frog – so it couldn’t be more inappropriate in the context of this sign!

TOP GRAMMAR TIP: To help remember which word is which, bear in mind that the word ‘tow’ is actually included in ‘towed’!

Patients and Patience

There are two reasons why these words are particularly important ones to get right – one is used in medical settings, such as hospital signs, and is therefore extremely critical, and the other is often used in letters or signs v of apology, in which a spelling mistake is likely to enrage the reader still further!

Remember: patients means people being treated medically.

For example: the patients waited in the hospital waiting room.

Patience means endurance or forbearance.

For example: we thank you for your patience while the building work is going on.

To make things even more complicated, the singular form of patients is ‘patient.’

For example: the doctor will only see one patient at a time.

But the same word is also used as an adjective to describe those who are exhibiting patience.

For example: the little girl was very patient as she waited in the queue.

There is no easy rule to remember the difference between ‘patience’ and ‘patients’, but the inclusion of the word ‘patient’ in ‘patients’ should give you a helpful clue.

Know Your Audience (And spell it correctly!)

Constructing plurals is one of the most common areas in which grammar mistakes are made in English writing. If you are addressing a particular group of people and need to use a plural word, remember that it isn’t always as simple as just adding the letter ‘s’. Making plurals from words ending in ‘y’ can be particularly tricky, as this unfortunate sign demonstrates. For starters, don’t make the same mistake of inserting an apostrophe – apostrophes are not used to create plurals.

TOP GRAMMAR TIP: To turn a word ending in ‘y’ into a plural, first look at the letter immediately before the ‘y’. If it is a vowel, simply add ‘s’.

For example: monkeys, boys, toys.

If the letter immediately preceding the ‘y’ is a consonant, then remove the ‘y’ and add ‘ies’.

For example: fairies, ferries, berries.

Proofread, Proofread, Proofread!

It is essential to do a thorough final check of any important piece before going to press, to prevent any accidental errors from compromising the communication of your point. Don’t make the same mistake as this American store, which missed out one vital word (accessories) from their sign, creating a very different message indeed from the one they intended!

And while you’re at it, make sure you proofread carefully for punctuation and spelling errors too – can you spot the misplaced apostrophe in the other sign in the background? Not to mention the wrong ending on the word ‘love’? These small mistakes can completely rob a sign of its impact, causing readers to miss the message altogether as they become distracted by the errors – don’t let it happen to you! Always use a proofreading service!

Make Sure it Makes Sense!

Just because a sentence doesn’t contain any spelling and grammar mistakes still doesn’t necessarily mean it makes perfect sense, as this strange sign demonstrates! So don’t rely on electronic spelling and grammar checks to do the proofreading for you – it is essential to make sure you use a real human being!

This doesn’t have to mean using a professional proofreading service- even asking a friend or colleague to look over your work is a great way to see it through a fresh pair of eyes and pick up on any silly errors you may have missed yourself!

The poor, humble apostrophe must be the most commonly abused punctuation mark in all of English grammar. Rarely treated with respect, it is as frequently misplaced as it is left out altogether. Yet the rules governing the use of the apostrophe in English grammar are incredibly simple and straightforward! Read our top tips for correct apostrophe usage and never abuse the poor apostrophe again…

DON’T Use Apostrophes for Plurals

Apostrophes are NOT required to make a word into a plural. In English grammar the letter ‘s’ is usually added to the end of a word to indicate that it is plural.

For example: boats, planes, trains, automobiles.

Many people make the mistake of thinking that because the letter ‘s’ is added to these words, an apostrophe is necessary to precede it. This is NOT correct! The apostrophe only precedes the letter ‘s’ in words where it is being used to indicate ownership. (See below).

TOP GRAMMAR TIP: So remember, whenever you place an apostrophe before the ‘s’ at the end of a word, ask yourself this one quick question: is this word a plural? If the answer is yes, DON’T put in an apostrophe!

DO Use Apostrophes for Ownership

Apostrophes ARE required in English grammar to show that an object or concept belongs to somebody. In these cases, the apostrophe should be placed in between the name of the owner and the ‘s’.

For example: Sophie’s pencil, Lucy’s holiday, the dog’s bone.

The apostrophe should only be placed after the ‘s’ in cases where there are more than one owners.

For example: The boys’ shoes, the chipmunks’ nuts.

TOP GRAMMAR TIP: Remember that some collective nouns, whilst representing a group, remain single in themselves, so the apostrophe remains before the ‘s’.

For example: The family’s belongings, the women’s books.

DON’T Mix Up It’s and Its

These two little words are the major exception to the ownership apostrophe rule above. Although an apostrophe is usually required to demonstrate ownership when an object belongs to somebody, this is not the case when the owner is represented in the sentence by the word ‘it’. This is because the word ‘it’s’ is already used in English grammar as an abbreviation for the phrase ‘it is’. (See below for apostrophes in abbreviation).

TOP GRAMMAR TIP: So remember, when using the word ‘its’ to mean ‘belonging to it’, no apostrophe is needed.

For example: The cat licked its whiskers. The tree dropped its leaves.

DO Use Apostrophes for Abbreviation

The final function of the apostrophe in English grammar is to show where the missing letters go in an abbreviated word.

TOP GRAMMAR TIP: So when you shorten a word or phrase into its abbreviated form, make sure you place an apostrophe where you removed some of the letters.

For example: Don’t go into the woods, there’s a scary bear in there and I’m scared!

We’ve all used written text to make a strong point in one way or another. From letters of complaint to protest placards, important signs to campaign posters, language is one of the most important tools at our disposal when we have an important argument to communicate. But we can really shoot ourselves (and our argument) in the foot if we don’t proofread very carefully to make sure the text we are using is grammatically faultless, as these unfortunate souls found out when they tried to make a point…

Beware Homophones

Homophones are words that sound the same but are spelled differently and have different meanings.

For example: there, their and they’re, or write and right.

When we’re using writing to make a point we are particularly passionate about, it is easy to slip up and make mistakes like substituting one similar word for another, as we tend to get carried away with the passion of the moment and concentrate less carefully on the technicalities of our spelling and grammar. In the heat of the moment, this poor sign writer accidentally mixed up the homophones ‘are’ and ‘our’.

Remember, ‘are’ is a part of the verb ‘to be’.

For example: we are human, the monkeys are over there.

Whereas ‘our’ means ‘belonging to us’.

For example: Those are our bananas.

To ensure that these mistakes don’t sneak into your final draft, it is essential to give yourself time to cool off and proofread what you have written before it’s too late!

Obey Your Own Rules

As this unfortunate sign and the one at the top of the page show, it is extremely important not to shoot yourself in the foot by undermining your own argument with grammar or spelling mistakes. These protesters are arguing about the importance of intelligence and of using language correctly, so it is rather ironic that they have hypocritically failed to do so themselves by making linguistic mistakes on their own signs.

This particular sign is missing a letter from the word ‘exceptions’, whilst the charming protester at the top of the page has chosen to use an insult he can’t spell correctly (it should read ‘morons’), rather undermining his own complaint about other people’s intelligence!

Get the Punctuation Right

Punctuation is everything when it comes to signs, with a missing comma or an extra set of inverted commas wielding the power to completely change the meaning of a sentence.

For example: ‘Let’s eat, Grandpa!’ Has a completely different meaning from ‘Let’s eat Grandpa!’

As this particularly unfortunate young man’s case illustrates, it is vital to check your punctuation is accurate and in the right place before you go for the final version of your text. Chivalry might not be dead, but in his case it seems that punctuation and grammar sadly are! Oh well, at least the mistake is safely hidden where he can’t read it…

Apostrophes

Punctuation is often missing from road signs, as short sentences and capitalisation often lead writers to think that it is unnecessary to include commas and full stops. But there is no excuse for missing out or misplacing apostrophes, which are essential to both meaning and grammar in the English language.

Remember, apostrophes have two functions in English grammar – to indicate an abbreviation or to show ownership. Where an abbreviation has been made or two words have been shortened into one, the apostrophe marks where the missing letters should go.

For example: don’t, couldn’t, I’ll.

When a person owns something, an apostrophe is added after their name before the letter ‘s’ to indicate ownership.

For example: Tim’s pencil, Lucy’s shirt, the boy’s cake.

When something is owned by more than one person (so the subject is plural), the apostrophe moves to the end of the word, after the ‘s’.

For example: Those are the boys’ shoes.

This road sign is a classic example of the very common mistake of inserting an apostrophe before the ‘s’ in a plural word, where it is grammatically unnecessary. Remember, apostrophes are NOT used for plurals!

Misused Words

Just because a road sign is often temporary is no excuse for not making sure that you have used the correct words to convey your meaning – particularly because drivers are often passing at great speed and need to be able to take in the information on the sign quickly and easily.

Yet road signs often feature misused words, or mix up similar words, as this example shows. Instead of the appropriate word, ‘temporarily’, this sign writer has accidentally substituted a word with a very different meaning indeed, suggesting that the road is closed…but perhaps only in one particular realm of time and space!

To be sure you are using the right word for the situation, check with a dictionary if you are in any doubt!

proofreading

Finally it is essential to use a proofreader to pick up on any silly typos or careless mistakes you may have made. You certainly don’t want to end up in the embarrassing situation these road painters found themselves in when they stepped back to admire their handiwork!

This is particularly important in the case of road signs, as letters on large signs are often stencilled or painted on individually, making it much more common for misspellings to occur without the writer realising what they have done wrong.

In these days of internet overload and digital dominance, ‘proofreading’ is a term that is often bandied around. Everybody knows how important proofreading is – and that you absolutely must make sure that you use a proofreading service before submitting your dissertation or sending your text to the printers…but what exactly is it that proofreaders do? If you’ve been secretly asking yourself this question, fret no more. Our simple, easy-to-understand guide to proofreading is made for you!

Proofreading is the act of carefully reading through a text, looking for any errors and correcting them. These might be spelling mistakes, errors in grammar, punctuation problems and any other mistakes the proofreader finds. The purpose of proofreading is to take a text and make it absolutely faultless from a technical point of view, so that when it goes to press readers won’t find any mistakes to distract them from its meaning.

A proofreader will also correct any typos the author might have made in the text. These are mistakes like extra letters slipping into a word when your finger hits the wrong key, or instances where an over-zealous spell-check has auto-corrected something inappropriately.

Why not just use spell check? Well, though modern technology is advanced enough to offer helpful grammar and spelling prompts, it still isn’t quite as eagle-eyed as a human being…yet! So there are often certain mistakes that a spell check wouldn’t notice, such as mixed up homophones (words that sound the same but are spelled differently.) Have a look at the following sentence for example:

Lucy loved the coffee shop and often went their to read.

A proofreader would realise that the writer meant to use the word ‘there’ and would correct the mistake, but a computer spell check might not pick up on this mistake because technically the word is not misspelled. Occasionally, proofreading might also involve making slight changes to the format and layout of a text. This might involve tasks like breaking it up into more paragraphs or altering the sentence structure by adding some extra punctuation if the sentences are too long.

However, the job of a proofreader does not extend beyond these strictly technical corrections. You may have heard of services where somebody not only corrects errors within a text but also goes on to alter the text significantly to improve it, by changing the formatting and style or adding and removing material. These services are provided by a copy editor, whose job we will be explaining in more detail in our next blog! (Don’t worry, our popular Funny Grammar Guide blogs will be back too!)

The overwhelming response to our previous blog showed that we’re not the only ones who are constantly needled by the grammar road kill we drive past daily. Given the enthusiastic response, we’ve decided to make this one a three-part Funny Grammar extravaganza! Enjoy!

Contradictions

It might seem obvious, but an overwhelming number of road signs seem to ignore the obvious importance of clarity and concision! When your readers are going to be passing at speed and have only moments to absorb the information you are presenting them with (and this goes for all kinds of signs and posters, not just road signs), it is essential that the relevant information is crystal clear.

So make sure you have confined yourself to the absolute bare necessities, choose a clear, large and easily legible font and whatever you do don’t make the same mistake as this self-contradictory sign!

Word endings

One of the most important areas to check, check and check again when proofreading any kind of writing is word endings. Road signs particularly seem to fall prey to bad grammar in this area, as this confusing sidewalk sign shows! Remember that a single letter on the end of a word can transform it into a completely different one (in this case, for example, if the sidewalk is ‘close’, why not just walk on it?!)

The letter ‘s’

So many road signs seem to feature spelling mistakes involving the letter ‘s’ that we decided it deserved a section all of its own! As the word ‘business’ demonstrates (unfortunately misspelled on this particularly disastrous sign) the letter ‘s’ causes problems because it is so commonly used both on its own and as a double letter, confusing many writers when they try to remember where the singles and doubles should go.

Here are some TOP GRAMMAR TIPS to help you remember how to use the letter ‘s’ correctly:

1. ‘S’ should be doubled after a single vowel at the end of a short word.

   For example: miss, hiss, lass, toss.

   Notable exceptions to this rule include: bus, gas, this and yes

2. In a two syllable word that ends with ‘s’, if the emphasis is on the first syllabus then the ‘s’ is probably single.

   For example: crocus, crisis, circus, fungus.

3. But if the stress is on the second syllable, the ‘s’ is probably doubled.

   For example: distress, caress, address, unless.

They are one of the chief sources of grammatical mistakes and funny grammar amusement, but road signs are actually immensely important for safety and order on British roads. As with any other public sign, careful proofreading is absolutely essential to ensure that important information can be quickly and easily communicated to readers, who are often moving past at high speeds. To ensure successful, accurate communication every time, follow our top tips for avoiding these common funny grammar mistakes…

Silent ‘h’

For some reason, painters of road signs seem to struggle particularly badly with the letter ‘h’. It’s a letter that causes many grammar and spelling mistakes due to the fact that it often appears in combination with another consonant and is not pronounced when the word is spoken aloud. Unfortunately this leads many writers to insert the ‘h’ in the wrong place, as they are unable to use phonetic sounding to work out where it ought to go.

Remembering that ‘ch’, ‘sh’, ‘th’ and ‘gh’ are the most common consonant combinations using the letter ‘h’ is a good rule of thumb, as it gives you an idea of the most sensible place to put the letter.

These words containing a silent ‘h’ are particularly common and should be learned:

Thought, school, through and though.

In addition, it is a good idea for writers to learn the spelling of the commonly used word ending ‘ight’, which comes in handy when writing a whole host of words.

For example: sight, eight, tight, fight, flight, plight, tight and right.

Vowel pairs

Another extremely common spelling mistake that arises in many road signs is the misuse of vowel pairs. As this sign shows, writers are often aware of the two vowels that are supposed to go in the pair but struggle to remember which way round they should go.

In this case phonetics are useful, as sounding out a vowel pair can often help you to decide which letter should go first to make the appropriate sound. In this particular sign for example, placing the ‘i’ first in the vowel pair would give it a sharp ‘i’ sound, not appropriate to the sound of the first syllable of the word ‘joining’.

In many vowel pairs the two different vowels are actually separately sounded out when you pronounce the word, making phonetic spelling a particularly good idea. Within the previous sentence, the words ‘actually’ and ‘idea’ are excellent examples of words where this technique would work! It would also have helped the writer of this sign, as the word ‘clear’ when sounded out has an immediately obvious emphasis on the ‘e’ sound which leads the vowel pair.

Nick Clegg unintentionally caused a grammar storm last week when he incorrectly used the word ‘literally’ during an interview with the Daily Telegraph. The mistake prompted a twitter storm and a mass of articles and programs debating the problem, which is one of the most commonly made errors in English grammar. Many commentators seem to be of the opinion that the meaning of the word has now been so far eroded by common misuse that it is almost lost for good, but we have greater hope for English grammar than that! So read on to learn, once and for all, how to use the word correctly, literally every time!

‘Literally’ means literal

Simply put, the word ‘literally’ means exactly, realistically what is being said. If you say something ‘literally’, it means that you are not exaggerating, nor speaking figuratively or metaphorically, but mean just exactly what you say.

For example: There were literally thousands of people there.

This means that there were, in fact, thousands of people there – that the phrase is not being used as an exaggeration.

So when Nick Clegg said that some taxpayers become annoyed when they see lower rate payers who are “literally in a different galaxy”, he inadvertently suggested that those people were actually, genuinely travelling several million light years to avoid their tax return!

Literally is the opposite of figuratively

During the debate over Clegg’s unfortunate grammatical mistake, many commentators have mistakenly suggested that the opposite of ‘literally’ is ‘metaphorically’. Whilst it is true that speaking metaphorically is completely different from speaking literally, this does not cover the use of other linguistic techniques such as exaggeration, which are also directly opposed to speaking literally. In fact, speaking figuratively is the true opposite of literally, as this covers all aspects of non-literal grammar.

Unfortunately many other famous faces have also fallen foul of this rule, such as repeat offender Jamie Redknapp, whose consistent misuse of the word has driven some commentators a little crazy, as this news clipping shows. Other famous incidents include Leona Lewis’s claim, upon winning the X Factor final, that “I literally jumped out of my skin”. Ew!

But these individuals are not alone in their grammatical faux pas, as these other embarrassing real-life examples show! If this marathon runner was ‘literally’ kicking ass, it is extremely unlikely that he would be allowed to continue the race, given the adverse and downright unfair impact his actions would be likely to have on his fellow competitors!

Meanwhile the political zeal of this online campaigner’s website is somewhat dampened by the irony of his misuse of the word ‘literally’, which seems to imply that a great deal of extremely advanced scientific experiments must have taken place without the knowledge of the wider US voting public!!